11.11.11. DREAM.

Early this Morning I dreamt about..

Fighting for my love to a guy.

His mom is against our relationship and we're trying to fight for our love for each other! haha!

The guy's face was not that clear so I didn't know who is he. But I'm hoping it won't happen for real 'coz I don't want somebody to love who's his parent's is against us. =)

Not a Chance?

Will I never get the chance to get what I really wanted to happen in my Life?

I think most of us do wake in our bed, lying helpless and just thinking and dreaming of something we really want to happened with our lives. .

And that dream will be like.. A prince charming will come into your way and says "I love you"! and "Will you be mine forever?" Most of girls do dream of that. . MOST.

But for some of us who are career oriented and has so much plans in line, we wake in the morning dreaming of things such as..

I will be a famous inventor like "Steve Jobs" who made APPLE a GOD to some of people who praise gadgets!

We all want to be remembered by someone or by everyone else. I won't hesitate, I do too! Everybody does!

Now.. Let me talk about what I always dream about of what I really want to happen in my precious Life..

Of course, I wanted to be different. That is why I dreamt before of not taking the same Career that every highschool filipinos take when they graduate from highschool, and that is NURSING.

Because of dreaming to be different, I did actually happen to be different among others.. I studied abroad---Malaysia.

The Second thing that I always dream is to be a PIONEER. Anything. As long as it is good. I want every human being will praise me of what I really did so great.

Third, I wanted to be an extraordinary lady who will be a good example to every youth, a leader that will make lives meaningful.

And fourth, I always catch myself from dreaming of pursuing my studies in Uk, London...... :(

You see it right --- Sad Face Smiley.. What's with it?,.

The only dream that really happened for real is the No. 1 dream I had.. And the following dreams of mine.. I am starting to lose hope from getting it or making it REAL.

I used to be the lady who's always on the positive side of life, but when I come to think of the possibilities there's just no way I can get it. Will I ever get what I dreamt for???

The only thing that will POP into my mind is.. I don't think so. Why I think of not getting the dream that truly want.

The only thing I have now is GOD. and will always ask for MIRACLE.

And I will always believe that if you truly want something 'YOU WILL GET IT. YOU WILL', IN TIME, Everything has a purpose and Toni Gonzaga quoted "There are NO badluck, THERE'S JUST DELAYED SUCCESS".

One More Time in Malaysia.

It was May 11, 2011. I flew to Manila City, hoping to have a blast during my Two weeks Vacation.

A week in Kota Kinabalu.

A week in Kuala Lumpur.

It's just so nice to be BACK Home., I call Malaysia my home too.

I learnt everything from scratch to something worth experiencing!

I learn how:

cook.

wash plates.

wash clothes.

clean the house.

And..

Do the Marketing. :)

It was nice seeing my College Mates with their Collars and Suit cases.

Take Note: They're WORKING already!

The advantage was: They treat all the time. And it's nice laughing and hearing their jokes again.

The disadvantage was: It was so hard to make an appointment with them, 'cause they are all busy with their work!

BUT. That's the Time I felt I am special to them.

Though they are busy like hell, they still made time JUST TO SEE ME.

I am Glad and Delighted.

As well, I did see the place that I call my own. The apartment 3333. A very memorable home, a place where I experience what the students experience during College days.

The house still the same but looks a little bit different when I was still the one who's taking care of it. Doesn't mean I am so much cleaner than the one staying at home, but it's just that the house needs renovation. It needs intensive attention on the "bulok" part of the house. haha!

The Place.

Deeply Glad. A bit emotional. I did see myself a few years back when I was still studying in college. The times which you felt very home sick and you got no one to talk to. But then.. STILL.. I just said.. "I did it!".. A job well done. I did a great job! haha!

It's just so nice to look back on the times when you were still struggling in Life.

And seeing how successful I am after deciding to study in Malaysia. =)

Oooh no. having a baaad feeling about this.. Suuuperduper unsure.

"Oooh no. having a baaad feeling about this.. Suuuperduper unsure."

It is sad to know that you are having a hard time knowing yourself better.

Sometimes after work, you'll see yourself in the taxi waiting for you to arrive home.

But those minutes of waiting in a car, with no one, got nothing to do, you'll caught yourself

doing re-cap on how you manage your day. Like how did you react on this, how made you do this into this and that.

And then..

YOU.

After you did what you think was right, suddenly....

OH no.

You start questioning yourself.

Why did I react like that.

Why did I do that.

How did I miss that.

Why did I say that...

UNTIL..

You start feeling sooooo doooowwn, that if you only have the power to turn back time

or to be able to have the time machine, you would.

YOU would change that.. And make it right..

TO be honest, I was on my way home after a loooong busy day at work.

d.r.i.v.i.n.g and d.r.i.v.i.n.g

Because I was too busy

and everyone at work is depending on me to do the decision making from the simplest to the hardest problem,

I was pressured.

As well, afraid..

AFRAID that if I make decision is it the right one or the best or even

the only thing that I should do to make things right at work.

And due to so much stress and pressure,

I just see myself scolding people,

acting somebody who I don't know,

like an angel who suddenly realize how evil she was.

"I don't know who I am."

This phrase, is short but I mean it a LOT.

I no longer know myself.

I don't know anything. And I hear people complaining on the way I

Talk.

and

React.

and now I am miserable.

I don't pray 'cause there's a feeling inside me that I don't understand.

I used to scold people. B'coz I know it would make things more easier.

Jealous. I can't help. I feel people are stealing something very important to me.

Over-reacting. I panic a lot.

And theeeeese things. Makes me Soooo Unsure of who I am Now.

TADA!

TADA!

Too SOON right?.. Just lastnight I was showering you with information about my life so far.

And Now, because I'm not so occupied I will tell you more of what my brain is trying to instruct my entire body.

So, here it goes.

(If there's any people reading this.. Aregato! Terimah Kasih! Salamat! OR in General Thank you! For making spending some time or wasting your time just to read my BLOG! Yeay!)

I do actually want to only share this with you. I'll be travelling soon, I will be going to Zamboanga City. And for the first time the purpose of this travel is not to go on a vacation or to do some school activities.

But this time.. It's going to be a BUSINESS TRIP!! yea! You heard it right!

Firstly, Mom asked me to train how and what would be the daily Operations of Chooks to Go (A store that sell Roast Chicken). We just recently franchise to bring it to our hometown--Bongao, Tawi-Tawi. And because Mom need someone to learn all the cooking and running the business she chose me! Chose me not because I'm the best, but because I'm the only person who is available to do the training. haha!

Second. I decided to go so I can sign-up and be a member of the fast Networking Business here in the Philippines. It is called P.C or Personal Collection. It would be a great opportunity to start 'cause I will be the first member of PC who'll have all the access and the chance to distribute their products in Bongao.

Third. Is to.. I may call it Mom's and atch's Errands. Yep.

I'll be leaving on the 5th of March and be back after a week on the 13th March.

Wish to have a Safe and Successful Business trip!

Post it!

How are you?!

Who Me? Or him? her? Them?!

Oh well.. enough with who, blah. blah. blah.

Whoever are you reading this post now, hello! Apa Kkhabar? Kamusta?...

If you were to ask me... My answer would be.. "I'm Great!!"

And I'll start telling you about my life since I stopped blogging.. And so, here it is!

"I'm keeping myself busy by printing t-shirts with my own design and.. Actually searched for the details how to do it. Thankfully, YouTube rescued me! I spent 24hours learning the techniques and ideas on how to print t-shirt without messing the whole shirt."

"Then, I do have my own Mini table in my Mom's Office! Because of that I decided not to work abroad. Where else can I have that Mini table but only here.. Here around my my mom's Office. haha! It's kinda simple to hear but it only prove that simple things makes me happy and satisfy me."

"And Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do have 2 Motorcycle with me, I named the scooter "ScooBien", actually dad was the one who thought of that name. haha! Then the other one I named it Rocky, 'cause it looks really cool and whenever I drive Rocky I feel like I'm a gangsta! haha!"

"I know it doesn't sound like me, but yeah. I'm being honest.. This time.. That... I'm one of Ryan Higa's a.k.a nigahiga Fan. How? I accidentally clicked his video then I never stopped searching for more of his Videos.. Until I noticed myself updating my YouTube and MySpace account and add ONLY Ryan Higa... And you know me, I don't usually or Daily check two accounts until I met Ryan Higa. I may say he's the love of my life for now. haha! He inspires me and in a way help me to be more positive in whatever will I be doing."

"I'm thinking of creating a design theme: Ryan Higa with a TEEHEEE on it. haha!

D.O.N.E with the updates. I'll get back to you again as soon as I can! =) TEEHEE!

Questioning me.

Questioning Why act like this?

KNOW me. STUDY me.

Then..

You'll know.

And if you still don't, try HELPING me, instead of fighting with me.

Getting unsure of myself.

I have to be away.

So, I can have my way.

My future must have stored extra special nice for me.

So, the sacrifices and hard-work won't be waste.

I wanna write.

I have good thoughts,

but doesn't have the skill.

I always wanna read.

Because in that way I live in a different life of the world.

And disappear in a moment of my world's reality.

Travelling is a hope for you to see the best side of the world.

Travel is better than to arrive.

'cause during travel there are many things that will be discovered and to be learnt.

When I travel, I always see the other side of myself.

I always wanted to court a Guy.

Wanna know how effective flowers and Chocolates

can be! =)

I am the BOSS..

When I was in Middle School whenever I dine in a restaurant, roam around the park, window shopping and just a little going in and out of a Mall.. They always address their customer as "MAAM".

I HATE IT... before!

But NOW, I LOVE IT..

Why? Please ask w.h.y.

Simply because.

I can feel I am the BOSS.

Especially in WORK.

I appreaciate the word "Maam" because there's a thing.

I dictate and they do the work.

Just sit. Relax. JUST be WISE and SMART. Decide.

Then you earn more!

Madam. Would be fine too. haha!

Quick thoughts:

Every Night I rest in my Bed,

there's always a moment that a thought strike into my mind and amazes me.

In a way I am inspired and eager to keep doing what I love.

> It's easy to make plans, BUT

it's hard to make plans in action.

>Who made the Five (5) second Rule?

1.2.3.4.5

> First impression is not always TRUE,

but it's the thing that always last.

> From a song:

You're FREE, to do what you wanna do.

You gotta live you life!

Dear GOD.

Dear God,

Please help me find the stairway to heaven?

I don' wanna spend the rest of my life doing bullshit.

Dear God,

I'm begging you to please help me hit the jackpot prize in the lottery. So I can help many lives and also mine.

I promise not to use the money to visit hollywood and be a star.

Somewhere..

I need to be in a place, where I can FIX myself

and pick-up the pieces I lost in a place where

I once broke.