Questioning me.

Questioning Why act like this?

KNOW me. STUDY me.

Then..

You'll know.

And if you still don't, try HELPING me, instead of fighting with me.

Getting unsure of myself.

I have to be away.

So, I can have my way.

My future must have stored extra special nice for me.

So, the sacrifices and hard-work won't be waste.

I wanna write.

I have good thoughts,

but doesn't have the skill.

I always wanna read.

Because in that way I live in a different life of the world.

And disappear in a moment of my world's reality.

Travelling is a hope for you to see the best side of the world.

Travel is better than to arrive.

'cause during travel there are many things that will be discovered and to be learnt.

When I travel, I always see the other side of myself.

I always wanted to court a Guy.

Wanna know how effective flowers and Chocolates

can be! =)

I am the BOSS..

When I was in Middle School whenever I dine in a restaurant, roam around the park, window shopping and just a little going in and out of a Mall.. They always address their customer as "MAAM".

I HATE IT... before!

But NOW, I LOVE IT..

Why? Please ask w.h.y.

Simply because.

I can feel I am the BOSS.

Especially in WORK.

I appreaciate the word "Maam" because there's a thing.

I dictate and they do the work.

Just sit. Relax. JUST be WISE and SMART. Decide.

Then you earn more!

Madam. Would be fine too. haha!

Quick thoughts:

Every Night I rest in my Bed,

there's always a moment that a thought strike into my mind and amazes me.

In a way I am inspired and eager to keep doing what I love.

> It's easy to make plans, BUT

it's hard to make plans in action.

>Who made the Five (5) second Rule?

1.2.3.4.5

> First impression is not always TRUE,

but it's the thing that always last.

> From a song:

You're FREE, to do what you wanna do.

You gotta live you life!

Dear GOD.

Dear God,

Please help me find the stairway to heaven?

I don' wanna spend the rest of my life doing bullshit.

Dear God,

I'm begging you to please help me hit the jackpot prize in the lottery. So I can help many lives and also mine.

I promise not to use the money to visit hollywood and be a star.

Somewhere..

I need to be in a place, where I can FIX myself

and pick-up the pieces I lost in a place where

I once broke.

" I just voted. After 20 years of existence, I had an edible ink on my finger."

October 25, 2010

"LOVE is looking for me. And I keep on Hiding from it! Cupids, hit your Arrows to someone who's looking for your Great gift called Love! AWAY!

Wearing love-proof vest! whew."

October 23, 2020

Be optimistic. Everything happens for a reason. Just believe and you'll get it. Do things as soon as you can, so in the end you won't regret.

Some things about me.

I'm a kind of a person who wants to do everything I'm really interested with as-soon-as-possible.

People may think how "I always want to do this and that" but it is just because I find LIFE really short and there are lots of interesting things that need to be explored and to enjoy. Like TRAVELING, I do also believe that people will only get the chance to live ONCE, so I want to grab and take the opportunity to see the WORLD.

I just don't wanna stuck in a place that I always see everyday. Though, I have some perceptions like that, but at the end of the day there are still things that I really wish to be with everyday of my life. Which is my FAMILY.

I like to do the impossible things and the very difficult things, but only those GOOD things. I am NOT GOOD at everything. I'm NOT a LISTENER to tell you the truth but it doesn't mean that I don't want to listen it's just that I'm just having a hard time in doing.

So, if you got upset with my actions please understand. I am not good at memorizing. Hates to be in a class but love to learn and understand things in life!

You will find me VERY HARD TO READ and HARD TO UNDERSTAND. 'cause I usually change plans and do something new again. Those are some small things about me!

I am LOST.

I am Lost.
Even when I know where's my way home.

I am Lost.
Even when I know where to go.

I am Lost.
Even I know what I want.

I am Lost.
Even I know myself.

I am Lost.
Even when I planned everything in my Life.

I AM LOST.

I have been SEARCHING for something that I don't even know what it is.
TRYING to know what the feeling I always feel inside of me.

Lucky the Blind person is. Though they cannot see, but they still know Brightness.
They are not lost, even all they see is DARKNESS.

I am Lost.
Maybe because there's X person who's trying to be with me and to explain to me all the things
I see. I feel. I do.

And NOW. I don't even know what I am trying to do.

FOREVER LOST.

The whole ME is HURT.

‎*Heart is in pain.

I thought they knew me more than anyone else.
But...
I was WRONG.
...
This is me, I have to be REAL. So accept who I am.

Honestly speaking, I am deeply hurt.
I never thought they will be the person who'll put me in this situation.

A situation that I am so unsure with all the things I DO.
A situation that I have to choose between pleasing them or my whole PERSONALITY.

Yes. I do admit that I had my own issues. Issues with myself which is being moody only because I don't feel telling it to people, even to my closest individuals. Yes. I like to keep it with me. And chose to be silent.

YES. I am like this. And this is me. Accept me for who I am.

Now. I am forced to change the person that I used to be. You won. I chose all of you, I did this to make you happy, but I AM NOT.

You only think and Judge me through my outlook, but can I ask you? Have you ever ask me? Or even try to understand why I act like this?

No. No. No. You. All of you NEVER did try to understand me. You only. And always, thinking of yourself, of what you feel.

Thank you. For what you did.

And I am now hopeless. Decided to be apart from you all. A best way to put this my-attitude-doesn't-fit-all-of-you issue is to be away.

Away.

Away.

Yes. I know. Running away from your problem is not the best way to do, but Running away from your problems is the best thing to do when.. YOU KNOW YOU DID EVERYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM BUT STILL IT DIDN'T WORK.

I am going to find a way to not put myself in a situation AGAIN that even I, my own self doesn't know who I am.

I am.. gonna be away to find what I have lost in ME.

A wonderful night for dancing and singing!

I don't care if it is Sunday, all I care is, it's time to groove. lalallalalalalalala!!

Music is playing in my mind, body's starting to dance the beat in my heart..

Let's Get it on!

Incase of "changes in holiday plans"

Ahm. Because of the unexpected happenings, I fixed my mind to change the whole itinerary of my upcoming holiday. Don't worry, I'm not disappointed actually I'm getting really excited. haha! Wanna know what are my plans?

MAY
13- Make myself busy recollecting past and achievements. Eat a lot of junk foods.
14- Wake up very-very late. If possible enjoy the rest of the day sleeping.
15- Shopping? maybe. If my mom send me my allowance. hoho.
16- General Cleaning in the house. Kill rats and cockroaches.
17- Grocery time. A lot of foods.
18- Go to 1 Borneo window shopping.
19- Part-time Job. Hopefully. MONEY.
20- Do tentative plans for the activities of Student council in the college.
21- Continue my school work. Do proposals.
22- Go for a night walk with friends.
23- Watch movies as many as I can afford. haha.
24- Go Island hopping.
25- Girls' Day out!
26- Day Dreaming. toink.
27- Practice cooking.
28- Clean my cabinet. Get rid of the 'cannot use anymore' clothes.
29- Fetch my sister from the airport.
30- Preparing for the Orientation Week.
31- Go to the beach and do soul searching.

* Probably 'll do a lot of soul searching! Duh! haha.
* Enjoy the rest of my stay here in KOta Kinabalu, Malaysia.
Wish me LUCK! yo! yo!


Note: Written last 6 May, 2009 @ 11:44am.

The meaning of my name.

S : You are very broad-minded.
U : You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
E : You are a very exciting person.
- :
B : You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
I : You are always smiling and making others smile.
E : You are a very exciting person.
N : You like to work, but you always want a break.

You are very broad-minded. You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards. You are a very exciting person. You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people. You are always smiling and making others smile. You like to work, but you always want a break.

Tambien is Flying! .... To Singapore.

Tambien is Flying to a place that is amazing!

Done with the packing. I'm just waiting.

Getting sooo excited and can't stop from smiling!

Last two months ago I was just sitting, thinking of what to write in the checklist

and I ended up with these!

CHECKLIST:

- Passport
- Return tickets
- Itineraries
- Money
- Exchange Rates
- Leisure
- Shopping
- Hop-in, Hop-on.

BUT.. Oops. One thing is important time to tell mommy and daddy, about the thing about 'flying'.
They never knew I'm going that's why I have to tell them 'cause lying is a bad thing.

Birth date is coming, and a gift must be given. A simple traveling gift is precious and so I'm going!

Before another chapter of this life will come to an ending, I must have something to award myself from a job-well-done.

AND so now.. I'm about to watch, learn and experience the new chapter of the 'life adventure of Tambien, I'm wishing you'll be there cheering!..

Note: Written on 6th May, 2010 @ Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Love can never apart us

I read a book entitled Sundays at Tiffany's.

There was a quote that caught a thought in my mind, that says "Love can never apart us".

Which is true for me. Wherever you go whatever you do if you love someone -- your Family, Friends or someone special-- means there's no such thing as goodbye, as long as love is in the air and deeply carved inside your heart you won't be separated.

Love can make every thing in the WORLD alive. Whether you are bad or good, rich or poor, real or imaginary and whether you are dead or alive.

New Year's Resolution.

> Learn to ACCEPT and don't be DISAPPOINTED easily.

Whatever opportunity comes grab it, try to WIN it. But Don't be so Ambitious that you'll end up greedy and asking for more. What ever is in the table be it, be contented. Once you reached it, be thankful and enjoy the happiness and the triumph. If you lose. Accept it, move on and find something else more in to you, something interests you.

> Learn to be CONTENTED.

What ever is in the table be it, be contented. Do not ask for something that is way beyond your imagination and out reach of hand. Whatever ALLAH give you accept it and be thankful, cause if you do so the more you will get. If you really want more, pray for it and one step at a time try to achieve and learn along the way.

> Go with the FLOW.

Do not always try to be different and excel too much with the others. Once you're up there, for sure you won't be happy 'cause you are alone.

> Learn to APPRECIATE little things.

Appreciate the little things happening in your life.

> Lastly, Live. Laugh. Love.

LIVE. Be in the present, Nevermind the past. Plan for the future but still enjoy and always live in the Present Time.

It's Christmas Day!

Aww. This time of season I do always wish to be in one place. That place is Ilo-Ilo City Philippines. It is the only place that I truly feel the spirit of Christmas. A time for giving, loving and Family gathering.

Now, I'm in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Alone. Celebrating by myself. Last night I slept at 12.45am. When the clock strikes at 12 Midnight I heard people from the neighboring apartments, shouting "yangseeeeenngggg!" (I think - hope I heard it right, correct if Im wrong). nyayls!

I checked my watch then it's Christmas EVE! I greeted my Christian friends in my phonebook. I felt an excitement but it suddenly went away. I thought. "Yes! It's Christmas" but no celebration for me. I can't feel the spirit of Christmas. Then wished. Hope on New Year, even though I'm not with my family, I'll find happiness and peace within ME.

Just a quick thought.

Actually..

I do have some sort of feelings now. A feeling of sadness and eagerness.

Sadness.

I feel so left alone. I think and I'm pretty sure this time around where people are in the Celebratory mood no one even remembers me. I cried. I felt like I'm trapped and locked in some place that I don't even know.

But then. I thought. It's my fault. Why? Because I was the one who decided to be adventurous and to travel and study abroad. So, people got used to me, leaving and always nowhere at there sides.

Eagerness.

Though I felt sadness there's also the feeling of eagerness. Eagerness to strive hard and be really a successful person. I know when I am able to reach my goals I will be able to go back to my place and as mush as I can I will be around the people who are important to me. In that way I won't be forgotten and so I'm always around them!

Whatever. That's just a quick thought came up from my mind today. haha! xoxo!