One More Time in Malaysia.

It was May 11, 2011. I flew to Manila City, hoping to have a blast during my Two weeks Vacation.

A week in Kota Kinabalu.

A week in Kuala Lumpur.

It's just so nice to be BACK Home., I call Malaysia my home too.

I learnt everything from scratch to something worth experiencing!

I learn how:

cook.

wash plates.

wash clothes.

clean the house.

And..

Do the Marketing. :)

It was nice seeing my College Mates with their Collars and Suit cases.

Take Note: They're WORKING already!

The advantage was: They treat all the time. And it's nice laughing and hearing their jokes again.

The disadvantage was: It was so hard to make an appointment with them, 'cause they are all busy with their work!

BUT. That's the Time I felt I am special to them.

Though they are busy like hell, they still made time JUST TO SEE ME.

I am Glad and Delighted.

As well, I did see the place that I call my own. The apartment 3333. A very memorable home, a place where I experience what the students experience during College days.

The house still the same but looks a little bit different when I was still the one who's taking care of it. Doesn't mean I am so much cleaner than the one staying at home, but it's just that the house needs renovation. It needs intensive attention on the "bulok" part of the house. haha!

The Place.

Deeply Glad. A bit emotional. I did see myself a few years back when I was still studying in college. The times which you felt very home sick and you got no one to talk to. But then.. STILL.. I just said.. "I did it!".. A job well done. I did a great job! haha!

It's just so nice to look back on the times when you were still struggling in Life.

And seeing how successful I am after deciding to study in Malaysia. =)

Oooh no. having a baaad feeling about this.. Suuuperduper unsure.

"Oooh no. having a baaad feeling about this.. Suuuperduper unsure."

It is sad to know that you are having a hard time knowing yourself better.

Sometimes after work, you'll see yourself in the taxi waiting for you to arrive home.

But those minutes of waiting in a car, with no one, got nothing to do, you'll caught yourself

doing re-cap on how you manage your day. Like how did you react on this, how made you do this into this and that.

And then..

YOU.

After you did what you think was right, suddenly....

OH no.

You start questioning yourself.

Why did I react like that.

Why did I do that.

How did I miss that.

Why did I say that...

UNTIL..

You start feeling sooooo doooowwn, that if you only have the power to turn back time

or to be able to have the time machine, you would.

YOU would change that.. And make it right..

TO be honest, I was on my way home after a loooong busy day at work.

d.r.i.v.i.n.g and d.r.i.v.i.n.g

Because I was too busy

and everyone at work is depending on me to do the decision making from the simplest to the hardest problem,

I was pressured.

As well, afraid..

AFRAID that if I make decision is it the right one or the best or even

the only thing that I should do to make things right at work.

And due to so much stress and pressure,

I just see myself scolding people,

acting somebody who I don't know,

like an angel who suddenly realize how evil she was.

"I don't know who I am."

This phrase, is short but I mean it a LOT.

I no longer know myself.

I don't know anything. And I hear people complaining on the way I

Talk.

and

React.

and now I am miserable.

I don't pray 'cause there's a feeling inside me that I don't understand.

I used to scold people. B'coz I know it would make things more easier.

Jealous. I can't help. I feel people are stealing something very important to me.

Over-reacting. I panic a lot.

And theeeeese things. Makes me Soooo Unsure of who I am Now.

TADA!

TADA!

Too SOON right?.. Just lastnight I was showering you with information about my life so far.

And Now, because I'm not so occupied I will tell you more of what my brain is trying to instruct my entire body.

So, here it goes.

(If there's any people reading this.. Aregato! Terimah Kasih! Salamat! OR in General Thank you! For making spending some time or wasting your time just to read my BLOG! Yeay!)

I do actually want to only share this with you. I'll be travelling soon, I will be going to Zamboanga City. And for the first time the purpose of this travel is not to go on a vacation or to do some school activities.

But this time.. It's going to be a BUSINESS TRIP!! yea! You heard it right!

Firstly, Mom asked me to train how and what would be the daily Operations of Chooks to Go (A store that sell Roast Chicken). We just recently franchise to bring it to our hometown--Bongao, Tawi-Tawi. And because Mom need someone to learn all the cooking and running the business she chose me! Chose me not because I'm the best, but because I'm the only person who is available to do the training. haha!

Second. I decided to go so I can sign-up and be a member of the fast Networking Business here in the Philippines. It is called P.C or Personal Collection. It would be a great opportunity to start 'cause I will be the first member of PC who'll have all the access and the chance to distribute their products in Bongao.

Third. Is to.. I may call it Mom's and atch's Errands. Yep.

I'll be leaving on the 5th of March and be back after a week on the 13th March.

Wish to have a Safe and Successful Business trip!

Post it!

How are you?!

Who Me? Or him? her? Them?!

Oh well.. enough with who, blah. blah. blah.

Whoever are you reading this post now, hello! Apa Kkhabar? Kamusta?...

If you were to ask me... My answer would be.. "I'm Great!!"

And I'll start telling you about my life since I stopped blogging.. And so, here it is!

"I'm keeping myself busy by printing t-shirts with my own design and.. Actually searched for the details how to do it. Thankfully, YouTube rescued me! I spent 24hours learning the techniques and ideas on how to print t-shirt without messing the whole shirt."

"Then, I do have my own Mini table in my Mom's Office! Because of that I decided not to work abroad. Where else can I have that Mini table but only here.. Here around my my mom's Office. haha! It's kinda simple to hear but it only prove that simple things makes me happy and satisfy me."

"And Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do have 2 Motorcycle with me, I named the scooter "ScooBien", actually dad was the one who thought of that name. haha! Then the other one I named it Rocky, 'cause it looks really cool and whenever I drive Rocky I feel like I'm a gangsta! haha!"

"I know it doesn't sound like me, but yeah. I'm being honest.. This time.. That... I'm one of Ryan Higa's a.k.a nigahiga Fan. How? I accidentally clicked his video then I never stopped searching for more of his Videos.. Until I noticed myself updating my YouTube and MySpace account and add ONLY Ryan Higa... And you know me, I don't usually or Daily check two accounts until I met Ryan Higa. I may say he's the love of my life for now. haha! He inspires me and in a way help me to be more positive in whatever will I be doing."

"I'm thinking of creating a design theme: Ryan Higa with a TEEHEEE on it. haha!

D.O.N.E with the updates. I'll get back to you again as soon as I can! =) TEEHEE!

Questioning me.

Questioning Why act like this?

KNOW me. STUDY me.

Then..

You'll know.

And if you still don't, try HELPING me, instead of fighting with me.

Getting unsure of myself.

I have to be away.

So, I can have my way.

My future must have stored extra special nice for me.

So, the sacrifices and hard-work won't be waste.

I wanna write.

I have good thoughts,

but doesn't have the skill.

I always wanna read.

Because in that way I live in a different life of the world.

And disappear in a moment of my world's reality.

Travelling is a hope for you to see the best side of the world.

Travel is better than to arrive.

'cause during travel there are many things that will be discovered and to be learnt.

When I travel, I always see the other side of myself.

I always wanted to court a Guy.

Wanna know how effective flowers and Chocolates

can be! =)

I am the BOSS..

When I was in Middle School whenever I dine in a restaurant, roam around the park, window shopping and just a little going in and out of a Mall.. They always address their customer as "MAAM".

I HATE IT... before!

But NOW, I LOVE IT..

Why? Please ask w.h.y.

Simply because.

I can feel I am the BOSS.

Especially in WORK.

I appreaciate the word "Maam" because there's a thing.

I dictate and they do the work.

Just sit. Relax. JUST be WISE and SMART. Decide.

Then you earn more!

Madam. Would be fine too. haha!

Quick thoughts:

Every Night I rest in my Bed,

there's always a moment that a thought strike into my mind and amazes me.

In a way I am inspired and eager to keep doing what I love.

> It's easy to make plans, BUT

it's hard to make plans in action.

>Who made the Five (5) second Rule?

1.2.3.4.5

> First impression is not always TRUE,

but it's the thing that always last.

> From a song:

You're FREE, to do what you wanna do.

You gotta live you life!

Dear GOD.

Dear God,

Please help me find the stairway to heaven?

I don' wanna spend the rest of my life doing bullshit.

Dear God,

I'm begging you to please help me hit the jackpot prize in the lottery. So I can help many lives and also mine.

I promise not to use the money to visit hollywood and be a star.

Somewhere..

I need to be in a place, where I can FIX myself

and pick-up the pieces I lost in a place where

I once broke.

" I just voted. After 20 years of existence, I had an edible ink on my finger."

October 25, 2010

"LOVE is looking for me. And I keep on Hiding from it! Cupids, hit your Arrows to someone who's looking for your Great gift called Love! AWAY!

Wearing love-proof vest! whew."

October 23, 2020

Be optimistic. Everything happens for a reason. Just believe and you'll get it. Do things as soon as you can, so in the end you won't regret.

Some things about me.

I'm a kind of a person who wants to do everything I'm really interested with as-soon-as-possible.

People may think how "I always want to do this and that" but it is just because I find LIFE really short and there are lots of interesting things that need to be explored and to enjoy. Like TRAVELING, I do also believe that people will only get the chance to live ONCE, so I want to grab and take the opportunity to see the WORLD.

I just don't wanna stuck in a place that I always see everyday. Though, I have some perceptions like that, but at the end of the day there are still things that I really wish to be with everyday of my life. Which is my FAMILY.

I like to do the impossible things and the very difficult things, but only those GOOD things. I am NOT GOOD at everything. I'm NOT a LISTENER to tell you the truth but it doesn't mean that I don't want to listen it's just that I'm just having a hard time in doing.

So, if you got upset with my actions please understand. I am not good at memorizing. Hates to be in a class but love to learn and understand things in life!

You will find me VERY HARD TO READ and HARD TO UNDERSTAND. 'cause I usually change plans and do something new again. Those are some small things about me!

I am LOST.

I am Lost.
Even when I know where's my way home.

I am Lost.
Even when I know where to go.

I am Lost.
Even I know what I want.

I am Lost.
Even I know myself.

I am Lost.
Even when I planned everything in my Life.

I AM LOST.

I have been SEARCHING for something that I don't even know what it is.
TRYING to know what the feeling I always feel inside of me.

Lucky the Blind person is. Though they cannot see, but they still know Brightness.
They are not lost, even all they see is DARKNESS.

I am Lost.
Maybe because there's X person who's trying to be with me and to explain to me all the things
I see. I feel. I do.

And NOW. I don't even know what I am trying to do.

FOREVER LOST.

The whole ME is HURT.

‎*Heart is in pain.

I thought they knew me more than anyone else.
But...
I was WRONG.
...
This is me, I have to be REAL. So accept who I am.

Honestly speaking, I am deeply hurt.
I never thought they will be the person who'll put me in this situation.

A situation that I am so unsure with all the things I DO.
A situation that I have to choose between pleasing them or my whole PERSONALITY.

Yes. I do admit that I had my own issues. Issues with myself which is being moody only because I don't feel telling it to people, even to my closest individuals. Yes. I like to keep it with me. And chose to be silent.

YES. I am like this. And this is me. Accept me for who I am.

Now. I am forced to change the person that I used to be. You won. I chose all of you, I did this to make you happy, but I AM NOT.

You only think and Judge me through my outlook, but can I ask you? Have you ever ask me? Or even try to understand why I act like this?

No. No. No. You. All of you NEVER did try to understand me. You only. And always, thinking of yourself, of what you feel.

Thank you. For what you did.

And I am now hopeless. Decided to be apart from you all. A best way to put this my-attitude-doesn't-fit-all-of-you issue is to be away.

Away.

Away.

Yes. I know. Running away from your problem is not the best way to do, but Running away from your problems is the best thing to do when.. YOU KNOW YOU DID EVERYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM BUT STILL IT DIDN'T WORK.

I am going to find a way to not put myself in a situation AGAIN that even I, my own self doesn't know who I am.

I am.. gonna be away to find what I have lost in ME.

A wonderful night for dancing and singing!

I don't care if it is Sunday, all I care is, it's time to groove. lalallalalalalalala!!

Music is playing in my mind, body's starting to dance the beat in my heart..

Let's Get it on!

Incase of "changes in holiday plans"

Ahm. Because of the unexpected happenings, I fixed my mind to change the whole itinerary of my upcoming holiday. Don't worry, I'm not disappointed actually I'm getting really excited. haha! Wanna know what are my plans?

MAY
13- Make myself busy recollecting past and achievements. Eat a lot of junk foods.
14- Wake up very-very late. If possible enjoy the rest of the day sleeping.
15- Shopping? maybe. If my mom send me my allowance. hoho.
16- General Cleaning in the house. Kill rats and cockroaches.
17- Grocery time. A lot of foods.
18- Go to 1 Borneo window shopping.
19- Part-time Job. Hopefully. MONEY.
20- Do tentative plans for the activities of Student council in the college.
21- Continue my school work. Do proposals.
22- Go for a night walk with friends.
23- Watch movies as many as I can afford. haha.
24- Go Island hopping.
25- Girls' Day out!
26- Day Dreaming. toink.
27- Practice cooking.
28- Clean my cabinet. Get rid of the 'cannot use anymore' clothes.
29- Fetch my sister from the airport.
30- Preparing for the Orientation Week.
31- Go to the beach and do soul searching.

* Probably 'll do a lot of soul searching! Duh! haha.
* Enjoy the rest of my stay here in KOta Kinabalu, Malaysia.
Wish me LUCK! yo! yo!


Note: Written last 6 May, 2009 @ 11:44am.

The meaning of my name.

S : You are very broad-minded.
U : You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
E : You are a very exciting person.
- :
B : You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
I : You are always smiling and making others smile.
E : You are a very exciting person.
N : You like to work, but you always want a break.

You are very broad-minded. You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards. You are a very exciting person. You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people. You are always smiling and making others smile. You like to work, but you always want a break.

Tambien is Flying! .... To Singapore.

Tambien is Flying to a place that is amazing!

Done with the packing. I'm just waiting.

Getting sooo excited and can't stop from smiling!

Last two months ago I was just sitting, thinking of what to write in the checklist

and I ended up with these!

CHECKLIST:

- Passport
- Return tickets
- Itineraries
- Money
- Exchange Rates
- Leisure
- Shopping
- Hop-in, Hop-on.

BUT.. Oops. One thing is important time to tell mommy and daddy, about the thing about 'flying'.
They never knew I'm going that's why I have to tell them 'cause lying is a bad thing.

Birth date is coming, and a gift must be given. A simple traveling gift is precious and so I'm going!

Before another chapter of this life will come to an ending, I must have something to award myself from a job-well-done.

AND so now.. I'm about to watch, learn and experience the new chapter of the 'life adventure of Tambien, I'm wishing you'll be there cheering!..

Note: Written on 6th May, 2010 @ Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia